The Do’s & Don’t’s of Clubbing

dodontsAs you may be aware, when it comes to the club scene here in Minnesota, Hmoodle has you covered. Through my years enjoying the night life, there are some things I have learned and would like to share. I call it the do’s and don’t’s of clubbing.

  • Guys, do not wear sports jerseys to the club. If you must, then wear a jersey that doesn’t have the name and or numbers worn out, so you can’t read it. It should also be a recent jersey with a player who still remains on that team, unless its a throwback. No one should be wearing a Penny Hardaway jersey to the club—not even Penny Hardaway.
  • Under Armor Clothing is a no-no. They make great clothing for working out and other athletic activities. In their commercials, they don’t show people wearing their clothing at the clubs, it’s always athletic related. If you are trying to show off your physique then wear a tight tee like Simon Cowell, otherwise leave the Under Armor in your gym bag.
  • Iron your clothes. You are about to pay $15 to get in the club and meet some of the finest ladies the club has to offer, so why not take the extra ten minutes and iron your shirt, especially if you spent good money on it. Remember, the little things help.
  • Buying a woman a drink is always a good icebreaker, but don’t assume she wants a shot of something. Always ask her what she’d like to drink. If you make her take the shot, you won’t get a chance to talk to her as she’ll finish her drink and will be on her way. Get a real drink so you can hang out and get to know her while you both finish your drinks. Also, girlfriends tend to be leery of guys who are buying their girlfriend shots. If you know the girl, then throw this rule out the door.
  • This is a continuation of the previous rule. Ladies, if a guy buys you a drink, don’t drink and run. Hang out until your drink is finished. If at the end of the drink you aren’t interested. Tell the guy thanks and go on with your night.
  • Just because it’s lingerie night and the ladies are wearing revealing clothing doesn’t mean she’s easy. It also doesn’t mean she’s free to grab and molest as she passes through the crowd or dances with her friends. Don’t be afraid to approach the girls. What girl doesn’t want to hear is that she looks sexy? Just go about it the right way. Ladies, if you are going to wear these outfits, allow yourself to be hit on, because it’s going to happen. No reason to rude to the fellas as long they treat you like a lady when they approach you.
  • Jealousy at the club peaks its ugly head all the time. If you can’t handle your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner getting hit on, then don’t go to the club.  Don’t hate on the other person ’cause they hit on your girl/guy, especially if they didn’t know they were taken. Take it as compliment, move on, and enjoy the night.  The club should be a drama free zone.
  • Don’t over react to the small stuff.  Accidental bumping is going to happen, especially if the club/bar is at or close to capacity. There’s no reason to start World War 3 because someone accidentally bumped you while trying to get to the bathroom, or the other side of the dance floor. Just put your hand up and give the all okay sign.
  • My last rule is this. When leaving the club and you’re in the parking ramp and the traffic isn’t going anywhere, stop honking your horns. It doesn’t help traffic go any faster and it’s very annoying. Next year when the Twins open their stadium in Minneapolis, traffic is going to be worse. Plan ahead and park somewhere else if you can’t stand it on the ramps.

You’ve seen some of my rules, now I’d love to hear some of your do’s and don’t’s of clubbing and hanging out at the bars. Leave your comments after the article and share some of your thoughts. We want to hear from the ladies and the fellas. Don’t hold back.

If you have any questions or comments in regards to this article, you can leave comments here or email me at [email protected] (Ryan Madland).



  1. Girl

    September 24, 2009 at 12:27 AM

    DONT continue to attempt dancing with girls after they've ran away from you a countless number of times. If their friends are helping them, it OBVIOUSLY means that they are NOT interested.

  2. Nkaujhmoob

    September 27, 2009 at 4:59 PM

    This is SO lame.

    • RyanM

      September 28, 2009 at 2:21 AM

      I appreciate your comments. We just trying to provide a fun read for our readers.

  3. CrazyforLove

    October 1, 2009 at 12:45 AM

    No offense, but to the BIG girls, I know you got love..but you definitely shouldn't should NOT be wearing clothes that are too tight. For one, you're too BIG and that's just NASTY…Turn off.

  4. King.D

    October 2, 2009 at 1:19 AM

    What could you wear and not wear to the clubs? Could you wear a hat?

    • RyanM

      October 5, 2009 at 2:44 AM

      I think wearing sports hats are a no-no, but more stylish hats would be more acceptable

  5. JerryThao

    October 15, 2009 at 2:23 PM


  6. joua

    November 1, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    these rules are mostly apply to the dudes. this is so funny and so true.

  7. linda

    December 9, 2009 at 7:58 PM

    You are about to pay $15 to get in the club and meet some of the finest ladies the club has to offer,…u mean some of the desperate girls WHO WANT TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK BETTER (but they look more like sluts) OR FEEL LIKE THEY NEED SOMETHING TO FILL THAT EMPTINESS IN THEM. BUT GUYS SEE THEM AS A PIECE OF MEAT AND THAT THEY SEE THEM AS SLUTS…of course the club has so many of these girls to offer to the perverts

  8. Jerry Thao

    December 10, 2009 at 1:24 AM

    And you know this because….

  9. Tsheng

    January 31, 2010 at 7:54 AM

    this is soo funny but yet so true coming from a girls point of view.

  10. miss yuri babbey

    February 26, 2010 at 5:11 PM

    I think, Linda got it right. When I go to the club I wear a one piece dress and heels. I see other girls that wear thongs and a mini ass dress or skirt getting dirty and nasty on the floor… So of course they want some cock and wants to go home with some dude and get laid. I know a lot of girls like that. And I don't want to give out any names. Its either close friends or ememies.. I go to the club to enjoy the music and dancing is my work out. But what ever girls do, trust me; they will reget it when its too late.

  11. joe88

    March 6, 2010 at 1:04 PM

    miss yuri,

    can you hook me up with your friends…

  12. Amy

    March 22, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    I don't see any problems for a girl to show some skin at the clubs. Whatever makes you feel sexy and boost that self-esteem up(n a healthy way) go ahead n do it. N big girls can do what ever they want….don't look if you don't like. Who ever thinks girls is desperate slut for how they dress at the club shouldn't even go….you don't know whats up. You might as will be a republican too. N yes boys should brush up n dress up

  13. Saul

    March 23, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    then guys can wear n e thing they wanna wear…y we have to dress up…

  14. M-CAB

    March 26, 2010 at 2:17 AM

    SORRY i love having sex with my close off, unlike clubbers you have to where your clothing will doing it in the club! 😛

  15. tbo

    May 4, 2010 at 7:01 AM

    it's easy to judge a person. it's more difficult to open up and get to know the person. if there's alcohol around, expect some goofing off and other unexpected things. big/skinny/average/hot girl… if you don't like what she's wearing, you don't have to look.

  16. smantha

    May 25, 2010 at 1:13 AM

    ok…people, if you think there so much slut in the club then don't go DYRR!!..stupid..dum people..that's how they suppose to dress anyways..if you want to judge then don't look/stare…jealousy is all it is!..hahah

  17. Mylia

    June 20, 2010 at 1:48 PM

    I have to agree some girls out there at the clubs are dressing very inappropriately and revealing a bit too much that will cause people to stereotype. There's a difference between dressing sexy and classy, versus skanky and slutty.

  18. Shusi Bby

    October 21, 2010 at 5:08 AM

    I totally agree, its okay if girls wear like that, like who ever said that, if you don't like don't look if you like then comment everyone has feelings. Don't judge them how they dress maybe if you get to know them then probly their very nice you may never know. I club once when myth was still around and now days since i'm married clubbing ain't a thing to do no more don't want to look bad yanno. Anyhow, i know girls dress very sexy/sluty but you gotta understand as long as it ain't your body then you should be happy. They didn't ask you if they can borrow your body to do that right? if you understand where their coming from then probly next time don't jugde a person by its cover. Thats who they are thats what they want to wear, just leave it and don't comment your just going to start more drama there dear just relax and have some good time with whoever you went with 🙂

  19. Silly Girl

    November 15, 2010 at 8:57 AM

    LOL! The comments are SoOOoo Funny… I'm sure real club go'ers already know what to do and what not to do loL! *Great advice for the newcomers though…* All I gotta worry about is gettin' my groove on…

  20. Alexis

    June 11, 2011 at 1:09 AM

    Of course you do have to admit that there are a lot of DESPERATE bitches that goes to the club.

  21. Hater

    July 5, 2011 at 11:40 PM

    I think there's a difference between looking sexy SEXY and looking slutty SEXY. There is NO need for girls to be wearing bras and panties in the club. Yes, I've seen it. Unless you are a gogo dancer, keep your clothes on. Otherwise you're just asking for the attention that I'm sure you wanted. So don't get mad when girls call you a hoe, cause you're dressed like one and acting like one. You can't hide your easiness, even if you're in a dress. So the guys will find you, no need to stoop that low to wearing almost nothing. That's just pathetic.

    My biggest props go to the girls who can look hot in a dress without the need to feel desperate enough to flaunt their intimates. I hate baby mama's who think they're hot shit and continue to wear their skankiest outfits. YOUR mama should slap you. Sure, go out and have a good time with your girls..but remember you are a mother. Dress and act like one. And baby daddy's…quit looking for hoes at the club. Go find yourself a real girl this time around. You obviously failed with the first one, that's why you ain't with her no more.

    That's all. My big ass rant after my J4 experience. Lol.

  22. mela

    June 16, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    Just because we girls go clubbing doesn’t mean we’re sluts and hoes. Please don’t stereotype us. Many of us go for the fun of it or like myself for friends birthdays only, not to be put down by those who don’t go.
    But hey here’s my advice: the club isn’t probably the best place for you to get a date!!

  23. anonymous

    May 10, 2013 at 11:35 AM

    puahahhaha clubbing these days are sooo old. my opinion on clubbing is for kids. people get drunk and go crazy its not even for fun. so expensive at the clubs too. clubs are for rich ppl.

  24. WWJD

    June 29, 2013 at 6:06 AM

    can’t we all just get along. if some woman want to wear something sexy at the club let her kus she knows she’s only young once and twenty years from now she can say that she looked very beautiful and sexy. why do people always have to say and think mean things. for all the ladies that are hating, I have a question. why do you have to put down people that are going out to have a good time with their friends. what is the difference between a bar or a night out at the restaurant and a night out dancing at the clubs. ask yourself is it that you ladies put other ladies down because there is a reason

  25. honestlyBlunt1

    July 10, 2013 at 2:38 PM

    Not all women who goes to the club wants to hook up. I go for girls’ night out, for the music, scenery, & most of all to do my cardio. The club is not a good place to find the love of your life anyways b/c people are often intoxicated w/ many things & it’s not usually a place to really get to know someone. It’s for fun. Some people dress well & some don’t. If you don’t like how people look then stop looking b/c I see people yapping their chaps about how someone is dressed w/out realizing that they themselves were judged by others that same night, too. It’s annoying how immature people stirs up drama over the littlest things like bumping into 1 another on a crowded dance floor…what the hell do U expect. Club goers can have a good time if only they would release their ego, negativity, & that chip on their shoulder before entering the clubs then they wouldn’t waste their time on others that don’t concern them.

  26. Man :)

    November 12, 2013 at 8:27 PM

    1st timer so what if you just want to dance without alcohol is that better or people would rather be drunkish so you can be free?

    • Christine

      December 4, 2013 at 9:49 AM

      If you’re out and about to have fun it doesn’t matter about the alcohol. Fun is what you make ofiit, alcohol helps add humor

  27. Christine

    December 4, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    I would like to see the ladies buy men drinks. I did it in my younger years and I have to say men are surprised by it and then very appreciative of the gesture. Talk about easy ice breaker.

  28. Bunnie,Fifi and Goose

    October 3, 2015 at 1:36 PM

    In studioreading these and cant stop laughing at the comments. P.S stop slut shaming ladies.

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